


Iwa-chan

by uesakahatsue



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, M/M, angst if you squint, dainisekai syndrome, hq
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:34:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28337802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uesakahatsue/pseuds/uesakahatsue
Summary: Dainisekai Syndrome, a very rare case that allows the patient's mind to create other people aside from him and exist along with him, even if it's not visible in others' eyes. It eats with them, goes to school with them, and talks to them. In this syndrome, it is very easy to trick the mind that everything is true— that's why "Iwa-chan" is someone who doesn't exist in the first place.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime & Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 12
Kudos: 13





	Iwa-chan

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for clicking onto my work, have fun reading! ^^ ♡

⸙.

『第二世界症候群は単なる症候群ではありません...それは祝福です。』

"Today, we will win once more."

As the words of Ushijima struck my head countless times, I've been reminded by the constant undeniable fact that he would actually do it... they would actually win once more, and we would never win. 

"What can we do? They have that left-handed strong ace, to begin with, and we have no ace."

"No, it is too early to give up!" I yelled, trying to raise the spirits of my once-again-depressed teammates. "We have no ace, but we have our strategy that could cover that gap. We are Seijoh, and we will win next year."

Next year... one more year, and I'll graduate. Once I graduated, I'll still play volleyball, but I wouldn't play with my current team again. Once I graduated, I'll never get to play with Makki and Mattsun, and I'll never get to see my cute little juniors playing with us again. Once I graduated, I'll never get to feel the satisfaction I felt when our strategies come together and we perform it as a whole team. Once I graduated, I...

"O... O-Oikawa-san?"

I fell to my knees, not minding the audience looking at us, not minding Ushijima's whole team walking away from us, holding the trophy in his hand. I feel like there's something that I would like to get out of, but I can't. I feel like I should say something, but nothing's coming out of my mouth instead of whimpers. I feel like I should wrap my arms around them and cheer them up, but it was covering my wet eyes instead.

Once I geaduated... I don't have any friends again.

"S-sorry, everyone..." I looked at them, and all I could see was the pinch of surprise that their captain was sobbing on the floor. "I am the captain of this team. We are only starting our journey, but we have never achieved anything so far, and it was because of my incompetence. Sorry about that... sorry about everything... sorry about---"

"No."

I looked to my right side. From the audience, a man stood up from his seat, looking straight into my eyes. His eyes were sharp and direct, and if looks could kill, he could bury me six feet under the ground just by his eyes. I saw the uniform that he was wearing--- he was from out school. However, he seems completely dissatisfied with the situation.

Ah... I do have a friend, after all.

"I-Iwa-chan..."

Makki looked in the direction that I was staring. "Who?" 

"Iwa-chan..."

"You think you could win like that? Do you think you could achieve something like this? While you're sobbing your heart out on the floor right now, countless players have been training on their courts, and even Ushiwaka is thinking about the mistakes that he has made on your match. Everyone is thinking about how to improve themselves, yet here you are."

Iwa-chan... a childhood friend of mine. As far as I can remember, he was with me ever since, playing with me, talking with me, listening to me, and watching all my games.

"Crying like a pathetic little dog."

He did say that I'm better than the rest, and I should never be compared to average players. If I have everything, then why? Why did I lose? Why do we keep losing? Why are we losing our hopes right now? If I am that good, how come that we could never enter the nationals?

"I taught you volleyball because you told me that you feel useless, staying at home with that syndrome of yours that you don't even know about. I taught you how to play for you to have fun. I taught you how to befriend the ball so that you won't feel lonely without me. I taught you everything... to make you happy."

Iwa-chan... is more than a friend. When no one believes me, he's right there beside me. When no one talks to me, he listens to everything I say. When no one trusts me, he would say that I'm the only one he needs. Iwa-chan isn't just a friend— he was my savior, the reason why I could still live, the reason why I'm still having fun... or am I?

"Do you know why did you lose to Ushiwaka?" He raised his gaze from me to my teammates. "Your teammates are a huge factor in having fun. The reason why Ushiwaka could say those claims confidently is that he trusts them, and his teammates would trust him too. They knew that they all could win, and that's why Shiratorizawa would always win. Even if one of them is one-step-ahead of the rest, they wouldn't make him feel like he should shoulder all the burden. Because no matter how strong he is, Ushiwaka is still a human being. A mere human with strengths and weaknesses. Sure, he had more strengths than the rest, but his weaknesses won't vanish. It's still there, and his teammates understand that."

I tried convincing Iwa-chan to play alongside us before. His spikes are very powerful, and aside from that, I've noticed that his jumping, stamina, and speed aren't bad either. He's the one who introduced me to volleyball, after all, so when my efforts paid off and Seijoh's boys' volleyball club was formed, he was one of the first ones that I recruited. But for some reason, he doesn't like it.

"Iwa-chan... do you want to join—"

"Shut up," A flat plain rejection fell out of his lips. "I have no intentions of joining you. I thought I already told you before: you should learn how to have fun without me."

"But why? Are you dying?" I know I'm desperate; my teammates were looking at me as if I'm crazy. "You're the reason why I learned how to play volleyball. Aren't we supposed to enjoy it together? Why do I have to be the only one playing on the court, while you're watching meters away from me? Why do I have to play here alone, when we can enjoy this together? Why, Iwa-chan? Tell me!"

"O-Oi, Oikawa..."

"Let's pull him, it's almost time for the other team to play."

"WHY, IWA-CHAN?"

"Oikawa-san, calm down..."

All I wanted was to enjoy this hobby with you. Without you, it doesn't feel as fun as it should be. I'm playing it, but without you, it feels like I'm just required to lay, and I don't feel like I'm having fun, no matter what the results are. No matter what you say, I know the truth within me: the reason why we kept losing is not because of my incompetence— I am just running away from the truth by using that excuse.

His dark brown eyes looked down on me as my arms get tugged by Makki and Mattsun. It was a brief moment of silence, despite my teammates around me that were calling for my name; even the audience's eyes are on us. His face wasn't showing any emotions, but they always looked so serious, as if he's mad over something else. He looks at me like he wished to eradicate me off the grounds of the massive Earth, but I never felt so comfortable. For some reason, no matter how angry he looked at me, it feels warm... like I was being embraced by a warm tight hug.

"What is it that you really want, Oikawa?"

My eyes widened. We are now outside the court, and on our way to the bus, but I could hear him in my head.

"iwa-chan?"

"Oikawa, don't start another ruckus again," Mattsun warned, but Makki looked at him, and as if it was a command, Mattsun's face softened. "Iwa-chan is just behind us, so you can talk about it later."

I looked behind, and Mattsun was right. Iwa-chan was following us from behind, with the same serious expression that was pasted on his face earlier.

"Tell me, what do you want?"

"If I tell you, would you follow me?"

"I... don't know."

"Nevermind, then."

"It depends. I'll listen to you, that's our promise since we were kids. I would always listen, and I will always be watching, just beside you. I already know what you want, but I want you to tell me the reason."

"Iwa-chan... I want you to be our team's ace."

"Why?"

I looked to my right side: a window. All I could hear were my teammates snoring, sleeping out of exhaustion. Makki was sitting beside me, and Iwa-chan was just behind me. I can't see him, but I know... I know he's there— even if I close my eyes.

Until when I was a four-year-old, I was living happily with my family. My mother was friendly, so every day, our neighbors visit us to drink tea with her. My father was busy with work, but as far as I know, he gets along well with his colleagues too. I never felt alone, and I never felt lonely. It was simple yet peaceful, and I am happy.

But one day, a stranger came into my house, and all of a sudden, my parents vanished into thin air. As if they left me to live with this stranger. I felt lonely, abandoned, useless. A four-year-old who can barely talk, and all the stranger knew was his name sewn on the hem of his shirt: Tooru.

The stranger has a son named Hajime, but I call him by their family name: Iwa-chan. The stranger, who introduced herself as Irina, told me that I could be her new son, which must've hurt in Iwa-chan's case. Nonetheless, we got along. Iwa-chan is more fierce than the rest, and he doesn't care about coming home filthy at all, but Irina-san doesn't seem to care about it. I found a new home, but it wasn't as happy as my old home.

Irina-san enrolled me in a school, where Iwa-chan is studying. But aside from Iwa-chan, I felt like an outcast there. They told me that I was a lost cause, someone who's not meant to be born alive. Someone crazy and delusional. But I don't have a single idea on where do they get those claims about me. I feel lost, excluded, and more importantly, alone.

"Shittykawa, do you have the— why are you crying?" As soon as Iwa-chan opened the door and saw me sobbing on the pillow, he rushed to me. "Who made you cry?"

"I-Iwa-chan... I don't understand..." I whimpered, and I remembered how my throat felt dry after speaking a handful of words. "Why am I different than the rest? Sure, I am more handsome than them, and I am smarter than some of them too, but... is that enough reason to hate me? Why are they calling e crazy? How am I delusional? Why don't I have the right to stay alive? Why am I even bo—"

"Sssh," A pair of tiny hands pulled me up, tugging me to his chest. Once I felt his small arms encasing me inside, once I felt his hands rubbing my back in little circles, once I heard him hum a song that my mother used to sing me when I was a baby, I couldn't manage to stop the tears falling to my face. My parents were nowhere to be seen, but it felt like home.

"It's okay... you did great. They're just mad because you're better than them. You're not crazy, and you're not delusional either. It's going to be okay... I'm here."

People say that those words were supposed to comfort someone, but to me, it just pushed me to cry harder... to scream louder... to feel the anguish longer, 'til I sleep in his arms.

I told you before: Iwa-chan isn't just a friend, he was my savior.

"What is it that you really want, Oikawa?" 

I opened my eyes. I'm still on our bus, on our way home. Everyone was still sleeping, aside from the driver and Iwa-chan.

As I remember my memories with Iwa-chan, I felt like I have come a long way. I am still pathetic, but the heavy feeling that I used to feel when I was a child is much lighter now. Compared to my past self, I am definitely happier now. But... it wasn't enough.

Call me greedy, call me someone who's not contented with what he has, but every time I step to the center of the vast court with my team, I felt like I shouldn't be there, as if someone's missing, and it's Iwa-chan. Even if he's watching on the front seat, I can't bring to win without him. He's my friend, and I'm his friend. I love Iwa-chan, and that's why...

"I want to enjoy things with you, Iwa-chan."

"Is that what you really want?"

"If I'm playing with you, I feel like I could do anything, because you're just beside me," I told him, as I watch the large sun slowly drowning into the sea, painting the sky in deep orange, letting the sea reflect its beauty. "Let's play together, Iwa-chan. You're my friend, right?"

I couldn't see his face, but I heard him sigh, a short sign of defeat. "Give me your club application form."

You're my friend, Iwa-chan, and I want to be with you forever... because I love you.

***

Another morning, another exhausting training from Aoba Johsai.

"Where is that dumbass?" Hanamaki shivered as he felt the snowflakes dropping on his bare neck. "I swear to God, he's always the one who's late!"

"Now, now," Kindaichi nervously laughed. "He was fetching Iwa-chan, after all."

"..."

The whole team fell in silence as they let the snowfall govern the atmosphere.

"Hey... when do you think would Oikawa-san know about the truth?" Yahaba whispered. "I can't handle him talking to an empty space anymore."

"But it's all good, right?" Watari tried to laugh, but he couldn't... not in this serious mood. "Because of Iwa-chan, he would send perfect tosses to Kindaichi without even noticing that it wasn't Iwa-chan who was spiking it."

"I wonder if what that guy looks like..." Matsukawa looked on his phone, spamming Oikawa with missed calls. "Oikawa told us that he looks handsome, but I couldn't imagine the guy that he was describing."

"I asked Irina-san about it," Hanamaki dived into the topic one feet deeper. "She had a son named Hajime, the one who died just before she adopted Oikawa. Apparently, Oikawa's Iwa-chan matched Hajime well."

"So... Iwa-chan is a ghost?"

"Nope, it doesn't exist," Even Kyotani who was quietly eating his sandwich earlier joined in the conversation. "Is it the first time that the first years would know about his syndrome?"

"Well, we did say that Iwa-chan is just a fragment of Oikawa's imagination, but I guess we won't satisfy their curiosity like that, huh?" Hanamaki breathed out some warm air through his mouth, before looking at his underclassmen. "Listen up. Iwa-chan is not real, right? Whenever Oikawa calls him, he just looks like a crazy guy who's talking all by himself. But according to him, Iwa-chan speaks back, as if he was existing right now with us. Oikawa isn't aware that Iwa-chan is just his imagination."

"Eh? Why don't we tell him?" 

"That is something that we should never do."

The team looked at Kunimi. Unlike the usual, he was awake and compared to his usual attitude, he was talkative. "Irina-san was my mother's best friend. I already know from the start, since I transferred here... that Oikawa-san has Dainisekai."

"Dainisekai?"

"Dainisekai Syndrome, a very rare case that usually happens to people who were traumatized and alone, which means someone like Oikawa-san. This syndrome allows the patient's mind to create other people aside from him and exist along with him, even if it's not visible in others' eyes. It eats with them, goes to school with them, and talks to them. In this syndrome, it is very easy to trick the mind that everything is true— that's why we could see Oikawa-san holding hands with air all the time, but he doesn't suspect a thing, because his mind is commanding the hand to coordinate with it to make him feel like he's holding something."

"That's... crazy."

"Iwa-chan is one of his creations. As you can see, Oikawa-san doesn't have a single idea that Iwa-chan isn't real, because his mind is working that way." Kunimi leaned over and whispered. "Irina-san told us that a week before she arrived at Oikawa-san's old family house, Oikawa-san's parents died in a car crash. When she found Oikawa-san, he looks like he's on the brink of death... he didn't eat for a week, after all. But Irina-san told me that even if he's on the floor, starved and about to die, Oikawa-san was smiling, and talking to someone... that he calls 'Mom' and 'Dad'. She thinks that when Oikawa-san had the syndrome."

"Isn't that more reason why we should tell him about it?" Kindaichi asked. "If he's not even aware that he's starving to death because of that disease, then shouldn't we save him?"

"No, you won't save him that way."

"... Why?"

"The syndrome was made in a way that whatever you say, the patient wouldn't believe it, since it was in their minds since day one, and you're just confusing them. Even if Oikawa-san did believe you, you'll never make him feel any better."

"I... Is that true, senpai?"

Matsukawa nodded. "Dainisekai, in the patient's perspective, isn't a mental health condition— it was their savior. The syndrome occurs when they're at their lowest... when they're feeling the saddest... when they feel like they're alone in this massive world. Thus, if a syndrome like Dainisekai makes them imagine that they have family and friends around them, it saves them from loneliness. If I'll be franker, it's not a disease— in some cases, it's a blessing."

"So no matter what happens, don't let him know the painful truth. Let him be happy with the beautiful lie that his mind created... because that was the only reason why he could laugh with us right now."

"Everyone!" The whole team looked at Oikawa, who was grinning ear-to-ear. "Sorry, Iwa-chan took so long to change clothes!"

"Really? I bet Iwa-chan likes to impress a girl."

"Who is it, Iwa-chan?"

"Hahaha! Look, Iwa-chan's blushing!"

"Let's go inside the gym before you and Iwa-chan get cold."

『すべてがただの嘘だとしても、彼を幸せにしてください。』

⸙.

**Author's Note:**

> Dainisekai Syndrome came from my own imagination (no pun intended). Therefore, there may be similar cases in real life, but I thought of this whole syndrome all by myself, so any similiarities are just pure coincidence. As I said, Dainisekai is originally made by me, so please ask for my permission first before using it on your own work. Thank you! ♡


End file.
